WWJD?

I was out walking today and thinking about all of the Television Evangelist that I have met or worked for and was wondering what kind of ministry approach would Jesus have in today's culture?
Would he own his own jet? Would he be the pilot, or would one of the Apostles have that job? Maybe Peter could fly while Jesus napped in the back like he did back on the yacht, I mean back on the fishing boat.
I wonder if Jesus would use theatrics and showmanship? He could blow on people and make them fall down, and then sometimes he could fall down with them! Or maybe he could throw his designer coat at people and make them fall down! That would be cool.
I wonder if Jesus would get on television and ask people to send him seed money for healings, miracles and financial break thrus? Oh I am sure that he would. He would probably write a best seller or two on how to live like the rich and famous.
I wonder if Jesus would own a few condos and mansions? Maybe one in South Florida to be near the sea, and another in Manhattan so that he could be close to Madison Square Gardens?
What kind of car would he drive? Or cars? Maybe a Bentley? Maybe a Hummer? Probably both and many more. I am sure that Jesus would arrive at Larry King Live in a limo. Maybe Mary Magdelene would be with him. I am sure that she would have nails, big hair, exercise DVDs and a boob job. Jesus himself would wear designer suits, complete with a Rolex and plenty of hair product. And I know that he would smile a lot.
If Larry King was to ask him a tough question, like if He was the ONLY WAY, that Jesus would side step it. We know from reading the Bible, that Jesus was always sweet and smiling, and that he never talked about sin and repentance. So I am sure he would be really sweet on TV and talk about how we can have our best life now.
I think Jesus would probably tone down all that business about dying to ones self, carrying the cross, martyrdom, getting flogged and all that, cause it is not as exciting as the prosperity message. He would have the money smarts to know that he must get on TBN and do some praise-a-thons.
I bet Jesus would have bodyguards too. I used to be a body guard, so I know how important they are. He could have them dressed up like the Secret Service, using walkie-talkies and following him in black SUVs! That would be so cool. Maybe he would even use the 91st Psalm to avoid the crucifixion. Then he could prolong his time down here and tweek the Old Gospel that he used to preach. He could turn it all around into a self help message and make some serious coin.
Maybe Jesus would get tired of traveling and start his own mega church. I wonder who he would hire to build it? Would it seat 10,000 or 20,000? Gone would be the old days of running 120 in the Upper Room! This is 2009, the Big Time. He could also get his own TV show, or better yet, his own network. Then he could have celebrities and pro athletes on his show to increase ratings. He could ask for seed faith money to finance it! Maybe even buy a few more mansions in Southern California.
Wow, Jesus really picked the wrong time to live down here. He had to rough it like the regular folk. No TV, no hair product, no jet, no five star hotels, no Hummer. Geez, what a bummer.